remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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