you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
