She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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