...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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