Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
