? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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