That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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