i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
