i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
