I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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