Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
