So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
