Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
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