so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
