Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
