they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
