i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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