i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I didn't notice because vodka
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
