I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
