thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
