I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
