standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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