Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
