I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
