dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
