Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
