Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just invented taco cereal.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
