I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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