wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
