my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
