I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
