I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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