Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
