Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
