He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
