we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
