Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
