I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
