theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
