How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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