And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
