I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
