hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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