The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
then he tried to convert me to islam
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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