my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I think I am morally bankrupt
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
