would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
