I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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