Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
