so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
