I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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